The Man Who Inspired Us to Montessori

Its was a bright sunny morning and we were headed for Blue Blocks Self-Learning Pre-School to attend the Positive Parenting Workshop. A day before this, I was wondering why in the world do I need to attend this workshop? Do I not know Enough about a small baby? I mean what if I was going to become a mother for the first time, I know what a small baby needs! obviously, a baby needs feed, good cloths and Diapers and not to forget the cuddling. See I know it all! But then when I started giving a serious thought - Why learn parenting? Do I really know enough? I burst into a cry! Only then I prayed sincerely to Allah - Oh Allah! Give me from your knowledge. I know not and you are all knower. Give me best out of this Workshop. Then with an open heart I decided to attend this workshop.

When we reached our destination, we received a warm welcome from the staff. After filling a short form we were directed to the lecture hall. It was just the right time. There we saw a short man with a gentle smile. This was pavan. His first sight made me a bit disappointed. I was hoping to see an energetic speaker who would blow up our minds with his talk on the subject. But this man was polite and calm. hugh! not so impressive anyway.

Soon the session began with what we are expecting or any question we want him to cover, followed by our introductions. Then began the real part. Mr. Pavan Goyal Started to introduce himself. He has taken the AMI intensive training in the USA for the age group of Birth – 3 years. He has observed and worked with infants and toddlers as part of his training program. He is also trained in the age group of 3 – 6 years, which has been certified by AMI Netherlands. With his training and practice he is committed to educating parents all over the country through Positive Parenting Workshops. He is also the founder of Blue Blocks Self-learning Pre-school.

After this impressive introduction he made us do a visualization technique. We sort of looked into our childhood where we found ourselves being rejected and disappointed. Then he took us through the journey of a child unfolding the developmental stages a child goes though and how can we support him in this development. He spoke about the wrong ways of parenting and bad educational techniques that are followed. His inspiring talk covered both physical and psychological needs of a child. In all we explored a whole new perception towards a child. The Montessori philosophy he spoke about was so natural and obvious that we felt our hearts getting convinced with it. Entire session we were kind of glued to our chairs. We couldn't hear enough on the subject. I wouldn't be summarizing his talk instead here is the link where you can get all the info. In all, his talk blew our minds, not in the way I was expecting but in a way that was as amazing as child psychology was. He was soft and thought provoking. He made us laugh, he made us cry. He definitely was someone who made a change.

By the end of the session I got my answer as to why this man is so polite, gentle and calm....Because he deals with children. Can there be any other way to handle this lovely creatures. When we left we had in our hearts great regard and respect towards this man who gave us hope to parenting efficiently. Even though we do mistakes raising a child but there is a way to rightly do it. We extend our wishes and thank Pavan for his good work.

May Allah guide us all to the straight path. Ameen!

Note:
For all those parents who are interested in Blue blocks Montessori School for their kids, here is the link to the school's website. You will get all necessary information.

The very own cloth book(week 27 & 28)

Our inspiration to Montessori was a Parenting workshop organized by a Montessori School (see my post on it here). One thing which was stressed on by the speaker was that we must start reading books to children once they turn six month old. It was surprising for us. When we questioned him as to what books he said any homemade book would do. Now that was tricky. There are many books available for very young children. The market is floated with all kinds of cardboard books. But the very first book has to be very special - that is what we had in mind. Although we have been reading Quran and other books to her, she dint have her own book. Finally, the idea of her first book was decided after enough browsing had been done on the subject. The idea was to make a cloth book that shows pictures of Allah's signs. Kind of like a nature's book. To make this book more of sensorial stimulation various beads and different textured cloth were used. Alas! the book was made referring to this tutorial. Its an amazing, easy to follow tutorial. Below are the pictures of the pages of the book and their descriptions:
The front cover of the book has written on it - Signs of Allah in Urdu (Fatima's mother tongue).
Allah speaks of all these in Quran.

Front cover of the book

Page1 (Day) has a yellow pompom that represents sun and blue ribbons that represents birds. 

Page2 (night) has a moon made out of silk cloth and few star shaped buttons,

Allah speaks of day and night as his signs in Quran. 

Day and night (Page 1 & 2)

Page3 has clouds made out of towel cloth and few beads as rain.
Page4 has a tree made out of green color cloth ball and brown ribbons.

Rain and tree (Page 3& 4)

Page5 shows water(blue wrinkled cloth), pearls and ship (felt cloth).
Page6 shows mountains

Ship and mountains(Page 5 & 6)

 Page7 Fruits(old dinning table cloth made out of rexine)
Page8 small book with few pages(buckram cloth) and cloth feather pen(this tutorial)

Fruits, book and feathered pen (Page 7 & 8)

Page9 flowers and leaves (velvet cloth)
Page10 camel

Flower, leaves and camel (Page 9 & 10)

 Back cover of the book

Back cover

All of these were made out of the scrap cloths available at home.

Her response to book, when introduced:
Excited to hold it
She liked the sun most.
Was busy with it for more than half hour

Qualities of Good Parent

As humans we must all admit that none of us is perfect. We are designed to fail, then learn then succeed then fail again in something else then learn again, success again and the cycle continues. Learning never ends. As life moves on, it puts us into new roles, gives us tougher challenges. Key is not to stop learning from our failures and these new challenges, that seem so tough and impossible in the very beginning.There are few things which we must posses to keep this learning cycle healthy and productive. One of these is observation. When things go out of our hand or we see a challenge that too big for us to handle then just one deep breath is what is required. Losing our mind in such situations will only help us lose a good learning opportunity. Take a step back, relax, take a deep breath and just observe things as they happen. This opens up our mind to see the reality, to see where the problem lies and to know the solution. This would be my advice to any new parent. Perhaps the biggest challenge in the world is to have in your arms a small, little human being who is so fragile, so dependent, so adorable and above everything whose only medium of communication is crying. If you are a parent and you really wish to help this little baby of yours all you need to be is a good observer. Gradually you will find your self understanding every cry and move of your child.

These little humans who have great powers seek only our help in getting through. They surely are not some beings who must be looked down upon. Unknowingly we do not respect these beings and their needs. What we need to understand is that they deserve respect not less than anyone of us. Its just that they are different and see things differently. Responding to the cries of your child in a respectful way will make you develop a unique bond with her. These responses must be encapsulated with patience and warmth and the driving factor should be your 'want' to understand. Children often do things which violate a lot of rules in this adult driven world. For ex: a toddler making mess out of food or a teenager resisting to participate in chores. But what we need to know is that they learn by changing their environment or by breaking rules. They always are trying to see if the rules can be molded or changed. In such situations, a parent must politely and firmly establish the rules back. A good way is to involve the older children in setting the rules. This will make them realize that you value them and they are old enough to be the part of the decisions. Additional advantage is that they are less likely to break the rules they have set themselves.

A good parent is someone with courage. Panicking in tough situations will only panic your child more. Responding difficulties with courage and confidence will teach your child a lesson which will help her through out her life. Complaining difficulties and hardships will make your child timid. She will not know the great art of dealing with problems. Every human is surrounded with problems and hardships designed specifically for each one of us. But there are only few who take the right approach to deal with them. Next time a problem pops up just try to identify what new thing life wants to teach you. Face it gracefully with all confidence that if this problem is given to you, you and only you have the potential to face it and deal with it. Remember your child sees you as a role model. With that said, here is my simple advice to parents out there: BE WHAT YOU WANT YOUR CHILD TO BE.

Why To Have Babies?

There can be thousand reasons of not having a baby, count another thousand for having one. Everyone have there own reasons. Some say "babies are cute". Others say - "I love kids" or "I want a heir" or "My husband/Wife wants to have one" or "I want to experience how it is to be a parent". Some are candid "When every one has a baby why shouldn't I?". Yes! there are others who want someone, there very own, to be there when they get old. Are these reasons valid enough? Is this what Prophet Zechariah (Zakariyah in Arabic), peace be upon him, asked for an offspring? Allah mentions of him in Quran, asking for an offspring:

This is a mention of the Mercy of your Lord to His slave Zakariyah. When he called out his Lord (Allah) - a call in secret, saying: "My Lord! Indeed my bones have grown feeble, and gray hair has spread on my head, and I have never been unblest in my invocation to You, O my Lord! And Verily! I fear my relatives after me, since my wife is barren. So give me from Yourself an heir, - who shall inherit me, and inherit also the posterity of Jacob (inheritance of the religious knowledge and Prophethood, not the wealth, etc.) And make him, my Lord, one with whom You are Well-pleased!" (Quran: 19:2-4).

Zechariah, peace be upon him , asked for an offspring for nothing but to pass his knowledge to future generations. He feared if he dies people might deviate from the path of almighty and follow Satan. What a good reason to have a baby! On the other hand, we ask for babies so that we can fulfill our not so worthy desires. Nevertheless, we forget the huge responsibility coming to us along with our babies. To carry out this responsibility in the most productive way, Lets discuss a whole new perspective of looking at them...

A baby (your's or someone else's) is nothing but a smaller version of a complete human being. To this little human being, everyone around is a role model. According to there little understanding, they believe whatever these big and confident humans do is correct and they couldn't wait to imitate these incredible beings around them. They are but a complete human being, with little understanding of right and wrong. As we have better understanding of right and wrong it is therefore our job to protect them from getting exploited. We must do so as the world deserves good humans. As parents we can at least make this contribution. We must correct our intentions of having a baby and must feel the big responsibility before we are ready to parent a tiny human. The intention of Zechariah, peace be upon him, was to make a positive contribution and so should be our intention.

Next time you look at a baby remind yourself that you have a chance to do some good to the world you live in.

Sit and Explore (week 25 & 26)

Fatima is Comfortably able to sit without support. This gave her a chance to sit and explore and work with some materials.
A Cardboard Box with a ball to put in and take out: (a way towards learning object permanence)

A tin box with balls, rattles and teething beads. The sound as she bangs the materials against the tin box helps her learn cause and effect.

The tin box lid that holds all her teethers and ribbons.

These presentation is inspired by the idea of Montessori treasure basket. Mostly in India we have the steel ware which is offered to these young infant. Here we are using the empty cookies tin box.

The excitement and focus she shows towards these materials is so adorable. Its worth watching her "I'm so busy" kind of expression. 

Looking forward to introduce more treasures.....

Living Montessori(Week 23 and 24)

It's been six Months! Alhamdulillah. Today I wish to speak about what I meant by living Montessori. As parents, all of us pay lots of attention to our children's needs. But mostly we end up attending to the physical needs - food, shelter, hygiene. Often we miss out an important part of human need - the psychology. Montessori system stresses on understanding the child psychology. The way to meet this need is simply by observing your child and responding in a proper way. In this post I will speak of how have we lived Montessori so far. Fatima is a child who suffered bad colic right from 3rd week of birth till end of 12th week. Handling such a child would have been a lot miserable. There were days were we could hardly sleep or rest. We continuously had to see her in pain and frustration. Only thing that encouraged me not to be impatient and freak out was that I couldn't risk exposing her to any negatives. The Montessori believe in being gentle and polite help me a lot to sooth and comfort her in tough times. Montessori system made me more patient towards her. We made a lot of materials for her but there were days when she resisted all of these. As soon as she started teething she was never comfortable with any of her hand materials.  In situations like this I reminded my self the Montessori principle - respect the child. Fatima has always been a very social child. luckily we had an opportunity to provide her this kind of environment - an environment that satisfies the need of the child. Respecting the Montessori believe in movement we have never used a crib or play pen sort of stuff which would restrict her motion. Agreeing with the Montessori believe in natural stuff over plastic commercial toys, Fatima had minimal exposure to plastic stuff. She have toys and mobiles made out of natural materials - wood, rubber, cloth, glass, steel and beads. She started weaning when she was ready for it not when I was ready for it, which apparently was before she turned six months. As far as the massage and bathing is concerned, it is something which should be enjoyable and soothing for the child rather than been harsh or hard on child. Indians believe so much in massage and bathing but we must admit few of us go to extremes. Rigorous massage or hot baths are something which must be avoided. A massage should be soothing and comforting. The warmth of the bathing water must relax your child not burn her. At first when I used to bath her, she cried so much. I thought she was afraid of water but one fine day it turned out the water was a bit hot for her. Since that day to this day she just loves bathing - Follow your child. As we are approaching towards the sensitive period of toileting (12-18 months according to Montessori), Fatima has started to use her cloth diapers again, along side the disposable ones. I must admit it was difficult for me to keep her always in cloth diapers which is the old Indian way. So I decided to keep her in disposables for quite few months and then slowly get in the cloth diapers. I will gradually increase the time she will be in the cloth diapers. I am sure this will help me during the sensitive period. Although I want to try out the Indian way of early toilet training, I will make sure not to be pushy. Things are turning out simple and obvious and enjoyable. Thanks to Montessori approach.

Activities these weeks:
She is able to sit without support for good few mins.
Enjoying new foods and tastes.
Playing  and learning from little cousins.

From now on I will be posting regularly. Lovely six months!

Montessori Inspired Infant Mobiles - Let Me See!

When talking about a newborn's vision, it is proven that they can see the contrasts, mostly black and white. A newborn is able to see just 8-12 inches during first few weeks. To help improve this vision, we can hang some sensible mobiles. Before getting into what mobiles, lets look at some key points on mobiles, like how to hang, where to hang, which one is best at what stage and more.

History of Mobiles
When traced back, the history of mobiles in India is almost 60-80 years back. Back in time then, grand mothers used to make lovely flowers or decorative birds out of cloth to be hung on infant's crib (cribs were pretty huge then). Off course, mobiles in Montessori system also have a long back history.

Why Hang a Mobile?
Vision is one of the five inputs which are taken by human body. I am talking about five senses. Your newborn explores this big world with these five senses, one of which is Vision. Mobiles not only improves your baby's vision but they also are a source of information. Sensible Mobiles means sensible information. Next big advantage of a mobile is to help baby develop concentration. By connecting to the mobile hung, the baby actually learns to focus. At first baby may not be able to connect for long time, but remember, even if the baby is able to connect for 5 minutes its a big deal. All that matters is how focused is she during this connection. Apart from this, mobiles also allow the baby to have a goal. Yes! the are something which baby wants to reach out for. This has two benefits: learning to work towards goal and encouraging movement. Movement is so much responsible for brain development - see here.

Where to Hang a Mobile?
The best place to hang any mobile is that place where your baby is more active. It can be any place where you put your baby while she is awake. You must choose a place that suits your home and comfort. This place can be in the same room where she sleeps or could be some other room. Keeping this place separate from her bed will just give her the idea that sleeping area and playing area are different. An additional benefit is that you need not remove the mobile each time she needs to sleep.

How to Hang a mobile?
Initially when your baby is too young (3 or 4 weeks old), Mobiles are to be hung at distance of 12 inches (30 cm). Later on you can increase this distance depending on what kind of mobile it is (bating or visual). You could buy a mobile hanger or you can use the ceiling hook or you can use any other feasible method. I would be discussing on various hangers in my Infant mobile series (Next posts in line). Stay connected!

What Mobile?
Depending on the age of your baby there are various options available. I particularly found the Montessori Mobiles to be very sensible and worth trying. In this post, I shall be providing a gross Idea of these mobiles. Then, in later posts, I will deal with each one them separately, in detail, exploring various options for each one of them.

Visual Mobiles:
Hangings : Black and White pictures
First Mobile: The Munari Mobile (Weeks 3-6)

Second Mobile: Octahedron Mobile (Weeks 5-8)
Third Mobile: Gobbi Mobile (Weeks 7-10)
Fourth Mobile: Dancer Mobile (Weeks 8-12)
Fifth Mobile: Butterflies/ humming birds/ whale Mobile (Weeks 10-16)

Bating Mobiles
First Mobile: Bell on Ribbon (12-16)
Second Mobile: Ring on Ribbon (12-16)
Third Mobile: Primary Colors Mobile (12-18)
Fourth Mobile: Musical Mobile (16-20)

Weaning begins....um mm yummy! (week 21 & 22)

Fatima have started weaning. She has been showing the' ready to eat signs' - interest in food, producing more saliva, doubled birth weight. She is weaning only one time each day. We are not using the Montessori specific weaning chair and table. She is getting her food in the traditional Indian way - eating on floor. To help her sit, we support her with pillows. She is enjoying this much awaited experience. She begins her meal with Bismillah (In the name of Allah)and finishes it with Alhamdulillah (Thanks be to Allah). Off-course I say these on her behalf until she is able to say it her self. Below are the pictures of her weaning bowl, spoon and glass. All in Steel - totally Indian.

The little glass takes all her attention. She is on her way to learn to drink from it.
week 22
There is a lot of sitting with support. Even though she knows how to roll over she never is interested in doing so. She neither likes to be on her tummy but sitting is something she is always ready for. Quite play on her back and supported sitting is something she is totally into these days. Based on our observations we do not insist her to be on tummy rather we help her to sit.
See my posts on weaning here.

The pompom mania (19th and 20th week)

19th week:
This week, Fatima is introduced to a new mobile, the ring mobile. It was a small wooden cloth frame tied to a ribbon. You can tie any wooden bracelet or bangle to a ribbon.

The ring mobile

Fatima is suffering from sore gums. She has got cold and itchy ears. Even though she is not comfortable with any of her teethers except cloth and her hands, she wants to bite everything in her sight. This has created a lot of fuss. She tried biting the bell mobile and the ring mobile but nothing could sooth those sore gums. She starts crying every time she bites on any of these. So  there are less display of Mobiles for sometime now.

20th:
Even though there is less display of mobiles, I made one again. Pompoms are our latest crush. They are so lovely looking and fun to play with. Luckily there are some very very easy ways to make our own pompoms. I followed one of these methods to make a primary color mobile for Fatima. Have a look at it! She was excited to see it and off-course wanted to take hold of it. But I'm saving this mobile for later use. These pompoms will make a good toy when she starts sitting.
Look for How to make pompoms the easy way here (mini pompom with fork), here (just using your hands) and here (the disk method).

Her developments by end of fifth month:
Good hold of neck (almost 80%)
Turning head towards noise.
Able to sit with support
Sore Gums but no teeth yet
Good hand eye coordination
Rolling to side and on tummy sometimes
Stretching out hand and grasping objects

Primary color mobile (pompoms)

A visit to baby Shop (week 17 &week 18)

17th:
Her Talking is on peak. She just can't stop talking to everyone and everything around. Fatima is particularly attracted to her cousin Haroon (age 2.8). Can you believe she actually shouts loudly to call him. When he is around and in her sight, she is calm - no wonder children know their peer.
She has started rolling to side - My baby is growing! Her sleep pattern which was set during her 13th week continued.  We are still using the bell and bird mobile. She is finally able to bat on her bell mobile intentionally. My observation whenever she is introduced with a mobile is this:

1. First time she sees any new mobile, she stretches out her arms and lays them straight on her side.
2. next she starts talking to the mobile.
3. Sometime later you can see her fingers moving, while her hands still on ground, as though she was trying to grasp something.
4. Then comes the unintentional hitting.
5. Next are the unsuccessful attempts to grasp it.

It's fun watching her play.

18th:
Despite of reminding myself so many times that my intention is to make Montessori and parenting easy and feasible and that I am not going to shop, just to inspire others to make things at home, I couldn't resist a visit to a local baby shop. All I wanted to buy was a wooden ring teether. The shop looked glamours from outside. It is one of the best shops in my area. But what was my experience? what did I see?
I was so much disappointed to see that everything in the baby shop was in plastic. All toys, games, chair table set, teethers, everything except a single brand rubber teether and wooden blocks! There was not a single toy in clay or cloth or wood - surprising in a country like India.
India is a country of diverse cultures, colors, rhythms and traditions. It is so bad that we have lost our own colors and traditions (not the insensible ones off course).  We have turned so plastic - No feel, No sense. Its heart breaking that we are not providing our children the real stuff. We returned with heavy hearts and a rubber teether!
See my post on  toys here.

Bird mobile and puzzle ball (week 15 & 16)

15th week:
This week, I had introduced a new mobile to Fatima, the bird mobile (My version of Montessori Humming Bird mobile), in rotation with the previously introduced bell mobile. She loved it so much.

The bird mobile

Another view of the bird mobile

To make this bird mobile, I kept things simple again:

1. Just draw some simple bird patterns on cardboard.  (I drew out 4 different ones)
2. Cut out the patterns.
3. Using these patterns draw similar ones on shiny glaze paper and cover both sides with it.
4. Now punch holes on these birds and tie them to your mobile hanger with strong thread.

See my post on Montessori bird mobile here, this will give you lot of help and options.

Her teeth are on there way and my little girl is so much in need of all her teethers: the Indian wooden dumbbell teether, the beads (homemade), the cloth (which is mostly her own clothes or her blanket.) and off course the best of all nature's teether - her hands. She has started hand to hand to hand passing of all of these. 

One thing I'm still waiting for is - when will she hold her bell mobile??? It's just little unintentional batting on it.

We (I, Fatima's cousins and grannies) have made the Montessori puzzle ball which I was so much in love with. We followed this tutorial and it turned out very simple. It was made by all of us in a day's time. A younger cousin drew out the patterns on cloth, the older one cut them out. stitching was done by me and her grannies. Perfect family activity!
This ball is intelligently designed, as it was so easy, for a little infant like her, to hold comfortably without much dropping. It was a good suggestion to tie it as a mobile. she played with it for about hour. She was trying to hold it and bat on it with her hands, and as she slides, with her feet. She was enthusiastic like a focused footballer, tiny little footballer.

Another tutorial for the ball is here

The Montessori Puzzle ball

Other activities/stuff:
Did I told you - she has developed good grasping power in her right hand. That's such a relief!
This week she started laughing out loud. Any tickling or funny talk would make her laugh out loud.

16th week:
This week, Fatima's Great Grandpa passed away. Nothing much to share! Things remained same as in the previous week.

Its bed time (week 13 & 14)

Back to home after a short stay at grand parents place. Fatima started showing the biting behavior which was actually too early according to some people around. She was biting on her hands and I was alarmed to find a good teether. The following are the teethers I was able to find for her at this stage:

Home made beads teether
A clean cloth
The classic Indian wooden dumbbell teether

(You can find my post on teethers under health page here.)

She was comfortably able to hold her hands together. But I found that she had less grip in her right hand. She was able to hold a teether in her left hand good enough, but would drop it at once if it was in the right hand. Only thing which came to my mind is she doesn't have enough strength in her right hand. After noticing this, each day several times I sat beside her for about 5-10 mins and continuously made her hold the teether in her right hand. My job was just to pick up the teether she dropped and offer it to her right hand. Waiting to see the results!

This week I offered her the bell mobile. I made this bell mobile by compromising one of the major rules related to toys - No plastic. Yes, I tied a plastic rattle to a ribbon - a economical alternative to the bell mobile. If you are looking for more alternatives, of course the nice non-plastic ones, connect to my infant mobile series here. Speaking of Fatima's reaction to it - oh! she paid full attention and concentration to it, a serious look. Whenever She is put under this mobile she just gazes it for long time without moving or trying to get to it. I am waiting to see her hold it. When you are a parent, there is lot of positive and hopeful waiting for everything.

There is so much to write this week, hmmm its sleep time. You guessed it right! As Fatima has turned 3 months old, she is totally ready for good long night sleep. Taking this as a great opportunity, I decided to set her sleeping routine. This is what I did:
1/2 hour before her sleeping time (8'O clock) I used to prepare her for sleep: diaper and clothes change.
making night environment: low lights
feeding and burping
then gently taping her back.

It took me just three days to set her routine. From fourth day onwards she started giving a cry exactly at the same time. Her biological clock was perfectly set for bedtime. Montessori's believe in sense of order is so true. She now sleeps for whole night till 5:00 in the morning.
(see my post on sleeping here )

Good Night!

Dadda is home (week 11 & 12)

These weeks, Fatima and I have moved to her grand father's place as her Dadda was coming all the way. The new room there had new friends for her. It was the roof of the room which was decorated by shining stars and shiny ribbons (only one of which was left), put on an occasion. She was so much happy to see all the lovely starts and the only ribbon left. How incredible! it was exactly the time when I had a chance to introduce the dancers mobile. The metallic paper ribbons hanging through the ceiling were just the need of the time.

Ceiling fan and shinny stars on the roof

Showing dancing human kind of mobile is definitely not my thing. So I was happy with these ribbons. You can choose to make anything, out of metallic or holographic paper, that  moves swiftly in air. The idea of this mobile is to develop hand eye coordination, movement, depth perception, dynamic visual skill and off course concentration. So use your imagination to create anything which works for you. Some examples are: ribbons, simple decorations etc.
If you wish to make the original dancers mobile, look for a tutorial here and an another one here.

Other activities/ stuff these weeks:
Enjoyed dadda's lullabies and hugs
Had comforting Massage and Bath by Grand mother.
Went on shopping for Eid
Received lots of Eid Gifts
Playing and talking with Gobbi mobile, ceiling fan and every human she found around her.

Happy days!

Montessori and Fatima (week 8-10)

Week 8:
She was at peace. The medication kept her sleeping most of the day and all night. When she was awake, she was able to find a new friend for herself. It was the ceiling Fan. She was so happy to see it rotate and yes! there was a lot of talking too. To begin with Montessori, I started applying the principles, most of which at this stage were about being polite, patient and observing.

Week 9 and 10:

I now had in my mind to go with the specific Montessori materials but in a way feasible to every parent out there. Feasible according to me is in terms of money, time and effort. The specific Montessori materials at this stage, for infants, were a series of mobiles (see post on Montessori mobiles here). Time had already passed for the first two mobiles in the series, so I decided to go with the next one, the Gobbi Mobile. This is a mobile which is supposed to have five graded shades of same color. I asked Fatima's older cousins to help me with it. This is the point where we can involve older siblings or cousins, They will surely love to use there art skills for the little infant. When I asked her cousins that how can we make this mobile without having to buy anything from outside, they were a lot of creative suggestions. One of which was to use the coins and wrap the thread on them. As we did not had the Styrofoam balls and that the coins are just the thing anyone can use easily, we decided to go with it. We wrapped five coins with graded shades of pink color and hung it to a stick. Though it was not made the perfect way, it did served the purpose. Along with the gobbi mobile, one of the cousins also made a black and white frame which was kept beside fatima's bed. Her response to both of these was so positive that it boasted my enthusiasm to go on. 

The Gobbi Mobile

The black and white art Frame

Relive from colic (Week 5 -7)

The crying and consoling continued.  I decided to change my pediatrician. The signs of colic elevated very high. Added to this, Fatima caught cold and got more fussy. Many a times, we both were able to sleep only early in morning after a big tiring night. We used to almost faint and retire after fully getting tired (she out of crying and me due to consoling). The new doctor wrote a complete body scan and blood and urine test. Thankfully, everything was normal, it was just cold and colic. He was able to give good medication which cured her cold very well. But what really cured her colic was a magic powder....just kidding. It was Bay berry powder which worked so well with her colic. We just rubbed it lightly over her tummy. Indians always use it for cold and flu but I was unaware that it is good for gastritis too. This was a suggestion from our neighbor. You must check out the amazing benefits of this powder here and here. I am hoping to write a post on colic in my health section, very soon.
Somewhere during 5th week, I happen to notice that Fatima was talking to the wall hanging. Until this time, I was not aware that babies connect to black and white stuff (pictures may be) and that black and white hangings for babies were common in Montessori system. That wall hanging was not intentional, it was always there. She connects to it so much that I started calling it her friend. Even when she cries due to colic, the moment she saw the wall hanging, she would pause, talk to it for a while and then resumes crying. I wish, I could have captured it (is it easy with a colicky baby?).

I am posting the picture of the wall hanging - the Fatima's first friend.
By the end of 7th week, after enough reading, I decided to follow principles and ways of Montessori System. See, my next post, on same page, How I began working on them.

Other Acitivities:

When colic is away she is all smiles - more and more smiles.

loves rhymes. 

Eyes started following. 

trying to reach to objects (just movement of hands).

responds to voice.

more awake and playing quietly.

reacts with eyes wide open to when lights off.

calls out when lonely for long time.

makes sounds as though she was talking.

The beginning of colic (Week 3 & 4)

This week Fatima started showing signs of colic - crying inconsolably, clenching fists, bloated tummy, tightening stomach muscles etc. According to her doctor it was common with some babies. Tough week! In spite of all medication, burping and consoling, most of the nights she cries and was restless till morning.
other activities:
Started smiling at me
There is something she likes about my mother's voice which kind of soothes her.
Knows my smell, touch and reads mood. (panics when i panic due to her crying, happy when i am so)

Settling and Accepting (Week 1& 2)

Week 1:

Day0 Fatima was at peace. She slept whole night and hardly cried once or twice for feed. She was fed with about 5-10 ML of formula provided by the hospital. As days passed on she proved to be a calm baby who cries only when she is hungry. I feel this was mainly because she was healthy and was fed properly. 

Week 2:

By this time we had already moved to home (after 4 days of stay at hospital) and Fatima continued to be a good baby. I had pretty much time for my self and was recovering well.

Fatima was always, like usual babies in India, covered in soft full clothes and a traditional head scarf. All that she did these two weeks was sleeping, feeding, toileting and sleeping again.

We spend these two weeks settling and accepting each other. Cherish able moments!

Dealing with newborns

The first week of a baby is a very important part of mother's and baby's life. I call this a settle down and accept week. As you have gone through a tough part of your life you need good time to recover yourself. Soon after delivery you will be in pain, need a lot of rest, not very mobile and will have a baby to deal with. This is the time you must accept all help offered. This is the time where more than anything you want a clam baby so that you can have enough time to rest and recover. At this very stage all that a baby needs is proper feed and good protection. 

Things to do to have clam and happy baby:

• Feed baby at regular intervals (mostly every two hrs)
• Try keeping the baby dry (nappy check)
• Create a womb like environment (clam, not so bright, soft and warm coverings)
• While you talk to your baby keep a soothing tone.
• Do Cuddle your baby to ensure she satisfies her need for love and feels protected. (this helps in building a confident baby)
• Consider sleeping while your baby sleeps, as most babies are restless during night time. (Save your energy)
• Have good nutrition to ensure good health. (do not neglect your well-being)

Independence from changing and managing diapers

Toilet learning is a natural human need. We unlike animal do not like sitting comfortably in our own wastage. So are our children. Its natural that all babies cry when they wet themselves. This is often taken as a diaper change signal. But this signal has more information than just diaper change. If these signal do not get lost with time, at a particular stage, a child is able to communicate that she needs to go to bathroom. That is the time to get a diaper free life, both for you and your child. How to achieve this dream(am i funny!)? In my later posts i will speak about toilet learning and things to do to have a very soon  diaper free life. Till then keep changing!

In this page.....

....you are going to find health related posts for pregnant you, you the mommy and your dear child. Becoming and Being a mommy is big deal. The whole process can become tiring, frustrating and painful if you ignore your and or your child's health. Healthy life style will not only help you get through all of this but also to enjoy every bit of it. I am planning to help you and help myself by getting all the right information that will make pregnancy/parenting phase a happy and a healthy period.
I would encourage questions and comments related to the subject. Feel free to suggest what else you expect on this page. 

When is the right time to weaning

Traditionally in India weaning begins with the end of fourth month of child. My mother in law said "traditionally, when a child turns 4 months old a rice pudding is made and a teaspoon is offered to her". Not sure if people still follow this but usually weaning begins this early in India.

As a Muslim, I can say that weaning starts right from the birth. This is the practice of the Prophet, upon him be peace, recorded in the collections of his sayings and reports about him, of which the most revered are the two Sahih collections of Abu Buradah reported from Abu Musa, who said: I had a new-born baby; I took him to the Prophet Muhammad, upon him be peace and blessings, who called him Ibrahim. The Prophet chewed a date then he took it and rubbed the inside of the baby’s mouth with it. (See Source).

Weaning at this stage is more about health and well being of a child. But in later stages of child development weaning takes a new meaning. Lets see what that is.....

Weaning is not just introducing baby to foods other than milk (mother's or formula) it is helping child to feed herself. It is to help the child develop the conscious sense of connection between digestive system and brain. It is to make child independent and confident. It is to help developing the sensory skills of child. Soon I will be posting proper method of weaning and much more on the subject.

I'll close this post with a quote from Dr maria Montessori:

" Little children, from the time there are weaned,

are making their way towards independence" 

                                                       - Dr. Maria Montessori

Education before brith

A child starts learning right from the womb as early as a 12 week old fetus. It is the mother's voice which is the source of information. Research also states that the brain patterns of the fetus are effected by the mother's voice. So speak as much good as possible. It is also found that the placenta carries the mother's mood to baby. Yeah! it carries the hormones that the mother's body produces. So be Happy and confident and patient and all good. Your baby also hears your heart beat. Once your baby is born hold her near and she will have soothing effect listing to your heart beat.

Quick tips on positive pregnancy:

1. Be Happy 
2. Involve yourself in at least one educational/reading activity. Some options are joining a course, reading good books on various subjects, learning an art etc.
3. Do not talk/think bad or abusive about anyone. I remember visiting one of my aunt when I was 2 months pregnant. she gave me an advice which I can never forget. She said "I have 3 children and you can look at each one of them and find out how I behave while I was expecting. Look at the attitude of anyone of them and you can tell what i used to think and behave while I was carrying that child" she added "I advice you to do as much as good you can. do not keep any grudges or ill about others." 
4. Learn to become more Patient.
5. Listen to good and peaceful audio.
6. Try helping others.

That's it for now.
Have a peaceful pregnancy!
See

1. How Speaking lies affects your health
2. http://www.world-science.net/othernews/111117_depression.htm

How to Parenting?

Do you often hear that parenting is a tiring and difficult task? Do you find yourself running behind your children, worrying and caring about there everything? Do you still hear that you are wrong parenting your children after all the effort you have put in? Do you desperately want to learn the secrets of effective parenting? if yes you are on the right page. The posts here will discuss on parenting right way as according to popular systems.  

What to Expect

Today, as I sit down to write My daughter, Fatima, has already turned 13 weeks old. Until this time I have been recording stuff about her which you see in my future posts. In this page you will find posts speaking about Fatima's development, activities and what she is going through at what stage. Much of this might not be new for mothers out there but you will see all this with a new perspective. I wrote in my first post about taking tips from Montessori. In my every post you will see how I want Fatima to live Montessori. More than applying Montessori I will be focusing on living Montessori. Yes! there is a difference between applying and living Montessori. Applying Montessori is to use specific materials and tools designed by Montessori but living Montessori is to follow the principles of this system. Though I do not question on importance of the materials and tools of the system, I surely argue that they are not the real Montessori. The soul of Montessori is its principles. There are people out there who do not opt for Montessori just because its expensive. Its materials are expensive but its principles are natural. Anything which is from nature is feasible for everyone. Here it is the principles of the system which are so easy to follow and apply and live.
Soon ill write a comprehensive post, for a good easy start, on principles of the system. Till then happy parenting.