Why To Have Babies?

There can be thousand reasons of not having a baby, count another thousand for having one. Everyone have there own reasons. Some say "babies are cute". Others say - "I love kids" or "I want a heir" or "My husband/Wife wants to have one" or "I want to experience how it is to be a parent". Some are candid "When every one has a baby why shouldn't I?". Yes! there are others who want someone, there very own, to be there when they get old. Are these reasons valid enough? Is this what Prophet Zechariah (Zakariyah in Arabic), peace be upon him, asked for an offspring? Allah mentions of him in Quran, asking for an offspring:

This is a mention of the Mercy of your Lord to His slave Zakariyah. When he called out his Lord (Allah) - a call in secret, saying: "My Lord! Indeed my bones have grown feeble, and gray hair has spread on my head, and I have never been unblest in my invocation to You, O my Lord! And Verily! I fear my relatives after me, since my wife is barren. So give me from Yourself an heir, - who shall inherit me, and inherit also the posterity of Jacob (inheritance of the religious knowledge and Prophethood, not the wealth, etc.) And make him, my Lord, one with whom You are Well-pleased!" (Quran: 19:2-4).

Zechariah, peace be upon him , asked for an offspring for nothing but to pass his knowledge to future generations. He feared if he dies people might deviate from the path of almighty and follow Satan. What a good reason to have a baby! On the other hand, we ask for babies so that we can fulfill our not so worthy desires. Nevertheless, we forget the huge responsibility coming to us along with our babies. To carry out this responsibility in the most productive way, Lets discuss a whole new perspective of looking at them...

A baby (your's or someone else's) is nothing but a smaller version of a complete human being. To this little human being, everyone around is a role model. According to there little understanding, they believe whatever these big and confident humans do is correct and they couldn't wait to imitate these incredible beings around them. They are but a complete human being, with little understanding of right and wrong. As we have better understanding of right and wrong it is therefore our job to protect them from getting exploited. We must do so as the world deserves good humans. As parents we can at least make this contribution. We must correct our intentions of having a baby and must feel the big responsibility before we are ready to parent a tiny human. The intention of Zechariah, peace be upon him, was to make a positive contribution and so should be our intention.

Next time you look at a baby remind yourself that you have a chance to do some good to the world you live in.

Sit and Explore (week 25 & 26)

Fatima is Comfortably able to sit without support. This gave her a chance to sit and explore and work with some materials.
A Cardboard Box with a ball to put in and take out: (a way towards learning object permanence)

A tin box with balls, rattles and teething beads. The sound as she bangs the materials against the tin box helps her learn cause and effect.

The tin box lid that holds all her teethers and ribbons.

These presentation is inspired by the idea of Montessori treasure basket. Mostly in India we have the steel ware which is offered to these young infant. Here we are using the empty cookies tin box.

The excitement and focus she shows towards these materials is so adorable. Its worth watching her "I'm so busy" kind of expression. 

Looking forward to introduce more treasures.....

Living Montessori(Week 23 and 24)

It's been six Months! Alhamdulillah. Today I wish to speak about what I meant by living Montessori. As parents, all of us pay lots of attention to our children's needs. But mostly we end up attending to the physical needs - food, shelter, hygiene. Often we miss out an important part of human need - the psychology. Montessori system stresses on understanding the child psychology. The way to meet this need is simply by observing your child and responding in a proper way. In this post I will speak of how have we lived Montessori so far. Fatima is a child who suffered bad colic right from 3rd week of birth till end of 12th week. Handling such a child would have been a lot miserable. There were days were we could hardly sleep or rest. We continuously had to see her in pain and frustration. Only thing that encouraged me not to be impatient and freak out was that I couldn't risk exposing her to any negatives. The Montessori believe in being gentle and polite help me a lot to sooth and comfort her in tough times. Montessori system made me more patient towards her. We made a lot of materials for her but there were days when she resisted all of these. As soon as she started teething she was never comfortable with any of her hand materials.  In situations like this I reminded my self the Montessori principle - respect the child. Fatima has always been a very social child. luckily we had an opportunity to provide her this kind of environment - an environment that satisfies the need of the child. Respecting the Montessori believe in movement we have never used a crib or play pen sort of stuff which would restrict her motion. Agreeing with the Montessori believe in natural stuff over plastic commercial toys, Fatima had minimal exposure to plastic stuff. She have toys and mobiles made out of natural materials - wood, rubber, cloth, glass, steel and beads. She started weaning when she was ready for it not when I was ready for it, which apparently was before she turned six months. As far as the massage and bathing is concerned, it is something which should be enjoyable and soothing for the child rather than been harsh or hard on child. Indians believe so much in massage and bathing but we must admit few of us go to extremes. Rigorous massage or hot baths are something which must be avoided. A massage should be soothing and comforting. The warmth of the bathing water must relax your child not burn her. At first when I used to bath her, she cried so much. I thought she was afraid of water but one fine day it turned out the water was a bit hot for her. Since that day to this day she just loves bathing - Follow your child. As we are approaching towards the sensitive period of toileting (12-18 months according to Montessori), Fatima has started to use her cloth diapers again, along side the disposable ones. I must admit it was difficult for me to keep her always in cloth diapers which is the old Indian way. So I decided to keep her in disposables for quite few months and then slowly get in the cloth diapers. I will gradually increase the time she will be in the cloth diapers. I am sure this will help me during the sensitive period. Although I want to try out the Indian way of early toilet training, I will make sure not to be pushy. Things are turning out simple and obvious and enjoyable. Thanks to Montessori approach.

Activities these weeks:
She is able to sit without support for good few mins.
Enjoying new foods and tastes.
Playing  and learning from little cousins.

From now on I will be posting regularly. Lovely six months!

Montessori Inspired Infant Mobiles - Let Me See!

When talking about a newborn's vision, it is proven that they can see the contrasts, mostly black and white. A newborn is able to see just 8-12 inches during first few weeks. To help improve this vision, we can hang some sensible mobiles. Before getting into what mobiles, lets look at some key points on mobiles, like how to hang, where to hang, which one is best at what stage and more.

History of Mobiles
When traced back, the history of mobiles in India is almost 60-80 years back. Back in time then, grand mothers used to make lovely flowers or decorative birds out of cloth to be hung on infant's crib (cribs were pretty huge then). Off course, mobiles in Montessori system also have a long back history.

Why Hang a Mobile?
Vision is one of the five inputs which are taken by human body. I am talking about five senses. Your newborn explores this big world with these five senses, one of which is Vision. Mobiles not only improves your baby's vision but they also are a source of information. Sensible Mobiles means sensible information. Next big advantage of a mobile is to help baby develop concentration. By connecting to the mobile hung, the baby actually learns to focus. At first baby may not be able to connect for long time, but remember, even if the baby is able to connect for 5 minutes its a big deal. All that matters is how focused is she during this connection. Apart from this, mobiles also allow the baby to have a goal. Yes! the are something which baby wants to reach out for. This has two benefits: learning to work towards goal and encouraging movement. Movement is so much responsible for brain development - see here.

Where to Hang a Mobile?
The best place to hang any mobile is that place where your baby is more active. It can be any place where you put your baby while she is awake. You must choose a place that suits your home and comfort. This place can be in the same room where she sleeps or could be some other room. Keeping this place separate from her bed will just give her the idea that sleeping area and playing area are different. An additional benefit is that you need not remove the mobile each time she needs to sleep.

How to Hang a mobile?
Initially when your baby is too young (3 or 4 weeks old), Mobiles are to be hung at distance of 12 inches (30 cm). Later on you can increase this distance depending on what kind of mobile it is (bating or visual). You could buy a mobile hanger or you can use the ceiling hook or you can use any other feasible method. I would be discussing on various hangers in my Infant mobile series (Next posts in line). Stay connected!

What Mobile?
Depending on the age of your baby there are various options available. I particularly found the Montessori Mobiles to be very sensible and worth trying. In this post, I shall be providing a gross Idea of these mobiles. Then, in later posts, I will deal with each one them separately, in detail, exploring various options for each one of them.

Visual Mobiles:
Hangings : Black and White pictures
First Mobile: The Munari Mobile (Weeks 3-6)

Second Mobile: Octahedron Mobile (Weeks 5-8)
Third Mobile: Gobbi Mobile (Weeks 7-10)
Fourth Mobile: Dancer Mobile (Weeks 8-12)
Fifth Mobile: Butterflies/ humming birds/ whale Mobile (Weeks 10-16)

Bating Mobiles
First Mobile: Bell on Ribbon (12-16)
Second Mobile: Ring on Ribbon (12-16)
Third Mobile: Primary Colors Mobile (12-18)
Fourth Mobile: Musical Mobile (16-20)

Weaning begins....um mm yummy! (week 21 & 22)

Fatima have started weaning. She has been showing the' ready to eat signs' - interest in food, producing more saliva, doubled birth weight. She is weaning only one time each day. We are not using the Montessori specific weaning chair and table. She is getting her food in the traditional Indian way - eating on floor. To help her sit, we support her with pillows. She is enjoying this much awaited experience. She begins her meal with Bismillah (In the name of Allah)and finishes it with Alhamdulillah (Thanks be to Allah). Off-course I say these on her behalf until she is able to say it her self. Below are the pictures of her weaning bowl, spoon and glass. All in Steel - totally Indian.

The little glass takes all her attention. She is on her way to learn to drink from it.
week 22
There is a lot of sitting with support. Even though she knows how to roll over she never is interested in doing so. She neither likes to be on her tummy but sitting is something she is always ready for. Quite play on her back and supported sitting is something she is totally into these days. Based on our observations we do not insist her to be on tummy rather we help her to sit.
See my posts on weaning here.